Getting Ready

As you are getting dressed for your wedding, what are you going to be thinking about? A good thought to ponder...You're not just going for a long walk in a white dress...you are changing your life forever.

Could this be for real?

Worst best man ever
http://gmy.news.yahoo.com/v/10235808/20081016/av_yugc/_goodmorningyahoo_yugc_yvs3710199

Gavriella Lerner for Chabad.org

The Ladies ClubMy First Mikvah ExperienceBy Gavriella Lerner

"But whyyyyyyyy did Mommy go in without us?" I was three years old, and I had been very excited when, in their inability to secure a babysitter, my parents had let me come along in the car for their drive to the West Side. I was excited for all the fun, grown-up activities that I was going to be included in that night. We stopped in front of a rather nondescript building and my mother left the car to go in, leaving my father and I behind. Suddenly, this outing was not so fun anymore. As I whined out my question, my quick-thinking father replied, "Mommy has to go to the ladies' club. She will only be there a little bit. We have to wait here because we are not ladies." Even at three, I shared his trait of quick-thinking and responded, "You are not a lady, but I am! You call me your 'little lady' all the time!" He smiled and laughed at both my wit and my innocence and replied, "You are my little lady, but the ladies' club in not for little three-year-old ladies; it is for grown-up married ladies. Please G‑d, when you are a grown-up married lady, you will join the club." By the time the conversation was over, my mother had returned to the car. I had no more questions that evening, and it would be a decade or so before I would know about the physical cycle that necessitates the use of the ladies' club, as well what happens in there.
I wanted my mother to be there as I began this special journey in my lifeSeventeen years have passed since that night with my parents in the car. Much has changed since then. I have younger brothers now; my mother no longer has to travel to West Side because Chabad has opened up a lovely new "branch" of the ladies' club on the East Side, and, most importantly, I was just inducted into the club a few hours ago. My mother accompanied me on this special mission. Weeks of preparing, planning, and studying have all come down to tonight, and I wanted my mother to be there as I began this special journey in my life and my relationship with G‑d and the Jewish People. We were escorted to the special bridal room, reserved for brides who are entering the club for the first time. After I bathed, my mother, who is a seasoned member of the club, made sure I properly prepared by flossing my teeth, combing my hair very carefully, scrubbing behind my ears, and cutting my nails. She gave me helpful hints, because she knows better than I do after the hundreds of times she has done this. As soon as she was satisfied that I was ready for my "initiation," we pressed the button to call the attendant.
I was all ready to jump into the warm, inviting water, but the mikvah attendant wanted to go over some final details first, like how to fully immerse, not to squeeze my eyes tight, or clench my fists, and to make sure my feet leave the bottom for a split second. Then, she took a few minutes to explain to me that my time in the water would be a particularly auspicious time for prayer, and that I should enter with the proper kavanah, concentration. She also explained some of the deeper meanings behind the journey I was about to embark on. My mother beamed proudly the entire time, so happy to be initiating her eldest into this finest, most special of clubs. The water felt magical; it took all of thirty seconds to be finished dunking, but it was the most special and intimate thirty seconds I have experienced in my entire life until now. As recommended by the mikvah attendant, I spent a few more minutes alone in the water, praying to G‑d, and feeling closer than I ever had before, and I felt like I suddenly knew so much more about life and about my Creator, than I ever could have had the chance to before. I felt like my soul had been cleansed, even more deeply than my body.
She felt the pride of a mother who has done something rightAfter drying off and getting dressed, my mother met me outside to bestow the parental blessing on me, praying that I should be like our fore-mothers Sarah, Rebecca, Leah, and Rachel. She sobbed as she said it, for the moment was bitter-sweet for her. It was bitter, because in just a few short hours, she would be giving me away and sending me off to begin a new life with my husband; bitter because being a woman in her early fifties, she knew that as I begin an affiliation with this wonderful club that will, please G‑d, last many years, her own trips to the ladies club were numbered. It was sweet because she had been privileged to experience this special event with me, her only daughter, just us, no husband, and no little brothers. But most of all, it was sweet because of her past. You see, the chain of our mothers had been broken for a few generations; my mother did not even know of the existence of the ladies' club until she and my father had been married for over a year. She rekindled that lost flame, and now knows that she has also successfully transmitted it to the next generation. There is hope that the break that happened before will, with G‑d's help, never happen again. She felt the pride of a mother who has done something right, as she watches her daughter eagerly follow in her footsteps. We both felt connected to our foremothers from generations past, who guarded this club and its regulations with the most intense ferocity.
I still have more ahead of me; I am sure the chupah will bring on similar emotions. But tonight, I have begun a mission and been imbued with a new sense of purpose and destiny. I will bring these with me to the wedding, and G‑d willing, into everything my husband and I will do for the rest of our lives. With new beginnings come new chances, opportunities, optimism. I pray that G‑d allows us to make the most it. But now, I must sleep; there will be lots to do tomorrow. Mazal Tov, and goodnight!


By Gavriella Lerner More articles...
Gavrialla is a senior at Stern College for Women majoring in English, and lives in Queens with her husband.

When He's Not Prince Charming

Living with Your Bashert by Sara Chana Racliffe for Chabad
G‑d knows you and your spouse intimately. Your spouse is, in fact, your "bashert" – the soul chosen to accompany your soul on life's journey. Your spouse - your spiritual partner, your other half – is there to help you develop YOUR potential. One's bashert is not necessarily a feel-good buddy. One's bashert can be someone who gives you quite the run for your money. He or she can irritate you to bits until you learn to be more tolerant, patient or understanding. He or she can hurt your feelings constantly until you learn to love yourself more. He or she can walk all over you until you learn to be assertive. He or she can ignore you until you learn to stand up and fight for what you want. Your spouse can draw you into dysfunction and despair until you learn to give others space to be themselves and do their own work. In other words – if you haven't quite got my drift – your spouse, even through his or her bad behavior, can help you perfect your character, correct imbalances and achieve what you never would have otherwise achieved. This, in fact, is one of the purposes of marriage – to help us grow.

First Dance

From You Tube! How to enjoy your first dance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwywP5ozPu0

Heather Vreeland & AtlantaBridalBlog.com

Heather's Book Review of "Wedding Chic" Enjoy!

http://www.atlantabridalblog.com/2008/09/book-review-wedding-chic.html


Book Review: Wedding Chic
Wedding Chic: The Savvy Bride's Guide to Getting More While Spending Less by Nina Wildorf, author of City Chic: An Urban Girl's Guide to Livin' Large on Less is a must buy for newly engaged brides.This book will give you straightforward advice and a list of costs to keep in mind when wedding planning. Wildorf speaks from her own experience planning a cheap chic wedding and from numerous friend's experiences. She gives straightforward tips about how to keep costs low like buying high-end makeup, getting a lesson from the makeup counter, practicing and doing it yourself instead of paying a makeup artist the exorbitant fee for a day-of makeup application.Through the pages of the book, brides will learn how to avoid getting bullied by professionals, find the best planner for their pennies, get the most bloom for their buck, make saving on their photographer a snap and create a booze budget and wedding menu at palatable prices.And we personally think that Wildorf would have been wild about AtlantaOccasions.com especially since she's cost conscious and looks for ways to get the most out of her money. We give this book two bouquets way up!
Posted by Heather Vreeland at 3:00 PM


About Me

Heather Vreeland
Atlanta, GA, United States
I'm the brains behind AtlantaOccasions.com.

Atlanta Wedding Vendors
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Socially Write
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Some Previous Blog Posts from Heather!

Great Wedding Gift Idea: Original Artwork
Spare the Wad
Wedding Wow: Seating in the Round
Book Review: Wedding Chic
Welcome Brides!
New Info Coming Soon!

Create Your Own Free Wedding Website

http://www.ewedding.com/

Ready, Set, Down the Aisle

Dear Brides, Are you taking care of yourself? Getting enough sleep? Eating well? Exercising? I know you've heard it before, but these simple things can make you feel good and ease the tension and stress that come up while you are planning your wedding.

Also, another tip: Pause before answering. You know what I mean. If you don't, you may say things you don't mean. When two families and friends are involved in a big affair like this, everyone's emotions will be triggered, especially yours. Wait before answering, or say, "I'll get back to you." It's amazing how even a few minutes may change your perspective.

And, remember what your mother always told you, "Beauty is as beauty does." If you are a Bridezilla, you are preparing to be a Wifezilla -- You know what I am talking about. Don't make him start having second thoughts before the wedding because you are screaming, crying, and carrying on. A bad wedding prep does not bode well for a good marriage. So, begin with the end in mind, and know that the Perfect Wedding you want includes a calm, happy Bride! Go do it!

Jacquie Lawson Greeting Cards

What's a Bride to Do?

Bridal Coaching can help the Bride with the interpersonal and decision-making aspects of planning and carrying out the Perfect Wedding. What it can't do is control the action of other people -- and the actions of "other people" are often what send the future Mrs. over the edge. It is not just about the Dress, the Cake, the Band, the Rings -- it's about the myriad number of people who are suddenly involved in what you thought was your big day. Suddenly, everyone has an opinion. Suddenly, your best friend and Maid of Honor is being uncooperative. Suddenly, you feel out of control. And only -- because you are. Even in planning the most perfect wedding, there will be aspects out of your control. Once you hit the aisle, you pretty much have to roll with the punches, or suffer. And suffer, many Brides do. Once you hit the aisle, there's no turning back. Sure you can complain about the volume of the music, the temperature of the ballroom, even the placement of the cake table. What you can't control, or often comprehend, is the behavior of members of the wedding party, of relatives, friends, colleagues -- in short, the behavior of the guests. While it is often the Bride who is tagged as "Bridezilla," or the one who is behaving badly, it is often the guests, and not just the drunken ones, who can try to ruin a bride's "Special Day." One bride told me the story of how one of her husband's relatives asked what the attire was. The relative was educated and had been to many, many weddings. The bride, however emailed back the following, specific instructions: "Cocktail attire, any color except white." Now why would a bride have to tell someone not to wear white? In this case, the groom warned the bride that his family knew nothing about etiquette, and also, the bride had seen the asker in a white suit at a different family function (not a wedding). So, in order to make sure this relative did not turn up in the white suit, the bride was specific. This bride wanted to be the only one in white at her wedding -- certainly her perogative. The relative showed up in what? The white suit, of course. And it wasn't as if she didn't own anything else. She had black cocktail dresses. But why would she do it? To be inconsiderate, thoughtless, a boor? To demonstrate that she had no class or respect for the bride? She wouldn't make eye contact with the bride on the day of the wedding -- she knew what she had done -- the only question was why? She was married. Had had her own white wedding -- could it have been jealousy, narcissism, or immaturity that would make her wear white even after the bride specifically asked her not to? So, in spite of all the attention to detail, all the planning and specific instructions, the bride had no control over the behavior of the guests! Please feel free to write in with comments about your experiences with elements of your wedding or those of friends, where situations occurred outside the control of the bride, and how the bride handled it. In the story above, the bride, from what I hear, took the high road and said nothing....And so it goes! Best wishes, Paula Verbit

I'm the Bride

It is very difficult for friends and family to understand why a perfectly normal nice girl or woman turns into a perfectionistic, bossy, control freak when she gets engaged. And the reason is simple: She's the Bride. It's her show, it's all about her, it's her special day, she is the queen, the star, the center of attention. Why is this so? From a spiritual perspective, marriage is a rite of passage from childhood into adulthood. From being the recipient (the child), the Bride, as wife, then mother and homemaker, and many times working woman, is now the Giver (the adult). So, being the Bride is the last time you get to take it all and be the Ultimate Recipient! So when you see that your best friend has turned into a Bridezilla, know that this is her opportunity for the world to witness her transition to the other side. And a major psychological and spiritual transition it is. The wedding may be about flowers, dresses, the band, the limo -- but the marriage will be about building a home and family and being responsible. Ususally, this is the last time, it is all about you...So when your friend, sister, cousin, etc., acts like the world devolves upon her, understand why.

Whose Opinion Counts!

"I'm the bride." Yes, and there is a Groom, usually a Mother and Father of the Bride and a Mother and Father of the Groom, and sometimes, step-parents, siblings, bridesmaids, and other interested parties who have an opinion relative to your wedding! But how do you negotiate a wedding which features the Bride, but really involves the Groom, the bridal party, and the families? If you would like to share your experience, or opinion, please write a comment to this post. Best Wishes, Paula

Gone Bridal

I dreampt I walked down a very long petal-strewn aisle, on the arm of my father, and that everyone was looking at me. My cousin, Jenny smiled at me and stood up, and everyone else followed suit. But I didn't dream it. I did it. I only feels like a dream. And four and a half years later, the feeling of that walk is still there, the feeling of unreality that I was the one in the big white dress, with the veil and tiara, bouquet and long train. It is nice to have, what I call, endorphin memories -- memories that take one back to a time and a place of perfection and holiness. My wedding, for me, was such a time. Walking to the Chuppah was walking towards God, towards the sanctification of the union that would be my marriage. And which today, is my marriage.

Here Comes the Bride

Getting married is usually the biggest thing to happen to a girl or woman. Suddenly, not only is she in love and happy, she is about to change her whole entire life -- her identity, her responsibilities, her relationships, her lifestyle -- in short everything about her life will change the instant she is pronounced "Wife." Pretty scary, huh? It usually is, to most women. But most women don't have time to think about the scary part -- they are too busy with the registry, picking out china and silver and flatware, planning the wedding, deciding on a venue, D.J. or band, the flowers, the food, and, of course, the Dress. Once a Bride is into the process it hits them -- suddenly, it's not just fun and shopping and planning. Now everyone in the family has an opinion. The groom isn't happy. His mother wants to add her two cents. What do you do? Every bride needs someone to talk to -- someone outside the main event who can provide a safe space for the Bride to rest outside the experience and look at it. And see it. And that person is a Bridal Coach. A Bridal Coach is a professional Life Coach, trained in Life Coaching techniques and modalities, who adheres to Life Coaching ethics and standards and who specializes in coaching Brides. Most Bridal coaches have themselves been Brides and have walked the aisle. Bridal Coaching is available to empower the Bride in a true sense so that she can enjoy every aspect of her Engagement, Wedding planning, the Wedding itself and her new life as a Wife.