Engaged! (kpp)

I have been working on a match, a Jewish Shidduch. It has been an exhilarating and exasperating ten months as I not only matched two people, but then coached them for over six months. The client was the man who came to me and said, "Find me a wife." I ran an ad and the right one appeared. Beautiful, gamine-like, smart, and a match for my client's temperament. They both seemed to know right away. This was not dating, this was a process of getting to know someone to be a lifetime mate, and in the process, learning how to have a relationship with the other person. Even when two people have chemistry and connection, sometimes compatibility takes time. Everyone is different. Some people like to sleep with the window open, some people are morning people, others are not. This couple is a beautiful couple that God brought together. I was blessed to be the matchmaker and coach/mentor.
Mazel Tov(kpp)! Believe and Achieve Coaching for all your relationship needs!

Power Struggles of the Engaged

When two people decide to get married, it's all champagne and roses and diamonds. When they begin to plan the wedding, they often find themselves in different territory -- more like the TV show, Survivor. You don't have to travel half-way around the world to find a jungle to survive in, not when you are engaged. If you are "middle-tiers, " Brides and Grooms aged 30 and up, you may be in for a shock. You could be a participant in your own Reality Show of "Who is Going to Prevail" here. For all your love and passion, you now are making decisions together. In one true (I promise you) example, a bride-to-be and groom-to-be spent 15 minutes in an aisle of Bed, Bath & Beyond arguing over which cutting board to register for! They left, mad, without registering for either. The Bride later told me that she had gone back alone, bought two of the cutting boards for the kitchen they will already sharing, and that the Groom didn't even notice. So, a word to the wise -- If you start battling over the small, insignficant decisions, it's usually about something else, often times, who is going to be in control. My advice -- walk away from the situation if it is not a time-bound decision, and discuss it in a rational manner that encompasses room for compromise. If it is time-bound, look for an option that works for both of you. Often sitting down with paper and pencil and making your case on paper, and then exchaning papers, can keep the emotional tension down and the productivity level up. Happy Decision Making!

Here Comes the Bride

Getting married is usually the biggest thing to happen to a girl or woman. Suddenly, not only is she in love and happy, she is about to change her whole entire life -- her identity, her responsibilities, her relationships, her lifestyle -- in short everything about her life will change the instant she is pronounced "Wife." Pretty scary, huh? It usually is, to most women. But most women don't have time to think about the scary part -- they are too busy with the registry, picking out china and silver and flatware, planning the wedding, deciding on a venue, D.J. or band, the flowers, the food, and, of course, the Dress. Once a Bride is into the process it hits them -- suddenly, it's not just fun and shopping and planning. Now everyone in the family has an opinion. The groom isn't happy. His mother wants to add her two cents. What do you do? Every bride needs someone to talk to -- someone outside the main event who can provide a safe space for the Bride to rest outside the experience and look at it. And see it. And that person is a Bridal Coach. A Bridal Coach is a professional Life Coach, trained in Life Coaching techniques and modalities, who adheres to Life Coaching ethics and standards and who specializes in coaching Brides. Most Bridal coaches have themselves been Brides and have walked the aisle. Bridal Coaching is available to empower the Bride in a true sense so that she can enjoy every aspect of her Engagement, Wedding planning, the Wedding itself and her new life as a Wife.