Living with Your Bashert by Sara Chana Racliffe for Chabad
G‑d knows you and your spouse intimately. Your spouse is, in fact, your "bashert" – the soul chosen to accompany your soul on life's journey. Your spouse - your spiritual partner, your other half – is there to help you develop YOUR potential. One's bashert is not necessarily a feel-good buddy. One's bashert can be someone who gives you quite the run for your money. He or she can irritate you to bits until you learn to be more tolerant, patient or understanding. He or she can hurt your feelings constantly until you learn to love yourself more. He or she can walk all over you until you learn to be assertive. He or she can ignore you until you learn to stand up and fight for what you want. Your spouse can draw you into dysfunction and despair until you learn to give others space to be themselves and do their own work. In other words – if you haven't quite got my drift – your spouse, even through his or her bad behavior, can help you perfect your character, correct imbalances and achieve what you never would have otherwise achieved. This, in fact, is one of the purposes of marriage – to help us grow.
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